Growing up we are often told “not to settle,” and whether
this advice is referring to grades, romantic partners, or career prospects,
most of us do settle in one way or another.
This is because the alternative to settling is difficult, often
painful. However, Adichie seems to
criticize taking the easy path, a stance she demonstrates through many of the
characters in this novel.
One recurring example of this can be seen in many of the
female characters in this novel. When
Ifemelu reunites with Aunty Uju in America, she is shocked by Uju’s new
boyfriend Bartholemew: “He was jarringly unsuited for, and unworthy of, Aunty
Uju” (142). She is sees that Uju has
fallen back on something comfortable for her, at the sake of her dignity and
true happiness. Ifemelu reflects, “it
saddened her that Aunty Uju had settled merely for what was familiar” (145). Adichie also looks down on the pragmatic
marriages and relationships that many Nigerian women, including “Ranyinudo, for
whom men existed only as sources of things” (487).
Ifemelu is the ultimate example of someone who never takes
the easy route, and who is rarely spiritually content. She continually makes life decisions and
lives her life in a way that may even seem like self-sabotage to an
outsider. For example, many people don’t
understand why she would ever want to come back to Nigeria after living in
America where her life is clearly easier in many ways. She also doesn’t fit in with many Nigerian
women- Esther even describes her spirit as “husband-repelling” (517). When Ifemelu cheats on Curt, it might seem
like she is being foolish. However,
Adichie values this urge to change, to find oneself, to search for the truth. Ifemelu is constantly described as being
honest, not because she never lies, but because she doesn’t lie to
herself. When Ifemelu reflects on her
relationship with Curt, realizes “she had not entirely believed herself while
with him—happy handsome Curt, with his ability to twist life into the shapes he
wanted” (355). This quote demonstrates
the differences between Ifemelu and the many Americans who are so eager to be
enthusiastic and happy, to the point where they lie to themselves, or seek
superficial happiness. Ifemelu prefers a
more serious attitude towards life, as does Obinze.
Initially Obinze resigns himself to a marriage that he does
not fully believe in, but that is very comfortable. When Ifemelu returns, he ultimately cannot
merely live a contented life with Kosi.
He reflects on his fate if he stays with Kosi, thinking, “they would all
die after trudging through lives in which they were neither happy nor unhappy”
(574). Obinze experiences much of the
same spiritual angst that Ifemelu does, and finds it difficult to relate to
those around him who are completely contented.
Surprisingly, Adichie seems to commend Obinze’s decision to divorce his
wife, even though it s a difficult decision to make. She rewards her main characters, Ifemelu and
Obinze for their bravery with true love, something that is very rare.
Ifemelu’s inability to settle, is, in my opinion, the cause of her almost continuous discontent throughout the book. Before she leaves for America, her view of the country is completely different from what America is actually like. She sees it as a magical land full of people who will solve all her problems. Even after she has lived in America for a while, these illusions still remain, “so strong they could not be fended off by reason.” (127) She does experience some very strong racism and prejudice, both because of her skin color and because of her nationality, and her anger over this is fully understandable. However, she is completely unable to see anything good in America. She will criticize anything and everything given the smallest provocation, and many of her criticisms follow the same train of thought: “this is not Nigeria, therefore it is wrong.” She loved Nigeria, even with all its problems, and she is unwilling to settle for anything other than Nigeria. She has every right to criticize many parts of America, especially our institutionalized racism and prejudice towards immigrants, but she continuously criticizes small things, things that have little or no relation to race. Colloquial differences in language, for instance, Ifemelu finds intolerable. (164-165) Eventually, she settles into life in America, but she is never happy there. And even when she returns to Nigeria, she is unable to fully settle back into life there. It’s changed too much and no longer fits her memories of what Nigeria was like. Her illusions, once again, cannot be fended off by reason, and once again, she expects that the country will live up to her illusions. This, not the cultural change, is the reason that Ifemelu has a hard time fitting into society. She cannot settle for anything other than her ideal, but her ideal exists only in her mind.
ReplyDeleteWhen I began reading this post, my mind immediately jumped to Obinze's marriage, and I agree with the what you said at the end, that Adichie seems to commend his divorce. One of my personal greatest fears is being "neither happy nor unhappy" in my life. It can be so easy to fall into a rhythm of indifference, and I've always thought of that as a culturally American phenomenon. I think the way in which Adichie ends the book ties together the two cultures in which she examines throughout the story- American and Nigerian- and sends the message that they both have their faults, their strengths, and most notably, their similarities, and that people are all really just in search of happiness and love. Ifemelu had meaningful relationships in America that ultimately unsatisfied her, just like Obinze had with his wife in Nigeria. They both lived lives that brought them across the world and then ultimately back to Africa, but in the end they realized that the fulfillment they needed came from love, and from not settling for an okay-version of the life they craved. I think Adichie writes Obinze divorcing his wife to show that black, white, African, or American, everyone is looking for the same thing: someone to share their life with. Settling for anything less is universally disappointing, which is why we are rooting for Obinze and Ifemelu until the very end.
ReplyDeleteI agree with your blog post. Adichie's critical view of comfort is something which is definitely present throughout her novel. I think it applies to the plot of the book as well as its ideas about race. You showed that Ifemelu is never able to be comfortable in America. Similarly, I think Adichie is suggesting that we should not be content with the current status of racism in America. Sure, rights for minority groups are substantially better than the 1960s, but we can’t pretend that segregation didn’t exist and everyone was made equal by the civil rights movement. I think Ifemelu poses an interesting question in one of her blogs when she asks what happened to the white women in photographs from the 1960s who didn’t want black children going to their school (405). These people didn’t just disappear and neither did racism. I think the comfortable thing for most whites to say is that racism is over so we don’t need to have a discussion about race today. However, we shouldn’t “settle in” to this comfortable assumption because racial inequality is still a problem in contemporary America.
ReplyDeleteReading your post, I instantly thought not only of the characters of the novel, but also of my own life. Being a white American, some may not assume that I have similar feelings or life experiences as Ifemelu or other characters of another race but, like Devynn mentioned, these emotions are purely human, not specific to a race or culture. It was also interesting that you brought up the fact that “settling” can occur in any aspect of one’s life; I had always only thought of it in terms of romantic relationships. For example, in America, Ifemelu not only breaks of her relationship with Curt because it was purely comfortable, she also quits her job. It is stated on page 373 that “She had not planned to resign, but it suddenly seemed to be what she had to do, and so she typed the letter on her computer and took it to her manager’s office.” Her manager was disappointed and encouraged her to stay, but Ifemelu felt that she was just settling for that job, simply because it was a job that paid her bills and she did not want that. Additionally, readers can see though her reluctance to relax her hair that she does not settle for what is acceptable in the culture and would allow her to easily fit in, but rather she does what she is happiest doing and wears her hair in an afro. Finally, Ifemelu’s decision to return to Africa shows that she refused to “settle” in America. For her, living in America was considered settling because it was what everyone expected her to do and she seemed to have her life put together: she had a boyfriend, a job, and family to see, but to her, it did not make her as happy as she thought she would be back in Africa. Overall, I agree that the theme of not settling for something that is mildly comfortable or easy is prevalent throughout the novel, especially in Ifemelu’s life.
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